1-800-273-8255 - Suicide Prevention

Used Irresponsibly: The Tongue, Pen, and Keyboard are Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Author

Sloane Stephens
September 12, 2021

I’ve been all up and through the news lately, after sharing some vile messages I received from tennis “fans” after my loss at the US Open. I didn’t expect it to strike such a cord around the country, but I was so encouraged to see that it did.

I’m not new to this rodeo. I’ve had to accept that this would be a huge part of my journey as a public figure; a female public figure; a Black public figure; and a Black Woman public figure. It’s an unacceptable reality, but it’s a reality we’ve normalized as a society at large.

With September being Suicide Prevention Month, I couldn’t help but think of the many people around the world, both young and old, who may have been pushed to attempt or commit suicide due to harassment or online abuse.

Blessed am I, to have had the resources and support to keep my mind strong and encouraged, when I’m dealing with a load of humans spewing hateful, harmful, and life-threatening things at me on a regular basis. But again, I often think of the people who may not have the resources to keep their mind strong in the midst of attacks; especially children/young people.

Online harassment/bullying is something we speak about as, par for the course, when we discuss the cost we pay for participating in the internet era. I hate it. To chalk up the experience of dealing with people, on the internet, who have no couth or regard for decency, as something we have to ignore or grow thick skin to, is an irresponsible adoption of messaging.

I’m not the first, last, or only person who has shared disturbing internet interactions. This issue isn’t an isolated incident or an uncommon occurrence. It’s not just an entertaining news story. It’s not just happening during cyber-bullying awareness month. It’s not just happening to athletes and entertainers. It’s real, it’s a constant, and it’s extremely dangerous. It is a huge terrorist to our most important and fragile communities: children and the mentally disrupted. More than a small amount of these interactions take place at a high exchange rate: a life. The statistics are frightening.

But suicide shouldn’t be where we draw the line, begin discussing legislation, or get a hold on this very severe consequence of allowing people to engage with others in catastrophic manners online, in print, or in-person. There are people, both young and old, dealing with depression, anxiety, decreased achievement, sleep deprivation, and isolation because of how someone/s chose to engage with them on the very piece of technology that is at the forefront of our everyday lives; even more now, after the all-virtual, almost two years, we’ve had due to the pandemic.

I’ve heard for years that, to protect ourselves from the internet, we should limit our screen time. What do we say now, after real-life interactions were completely halted? What do we say now, when school is attended mostly/fully online? What do we say now, when work is mostly/fully online? What do we say when the “safest” way people can interact with others, in a pandemic, is online?

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for individuals ages 10-34 years old; with people who experience online harassment or bullying, two times more likely to attempt suicide. That is a clear and direct indicator, that the online harassment immensely impacts human’s optimism and belief in themselves to navigate and fully-function after experiencing the violence that exists on the internet.

I don’t know what we say. But what I do know, is that there has to be a strong emphasis, top-down, to deem this ugly, evil, and egregious behavior online, completely unacceptable. With all of the battles that humans will have to face in life, if this is a fight we can remove, we should! Life does enough of the pushing of people to their edge; why must some of us choose to be an accomplice in strengthening that push to another person’s edge? I just know, we are so much better than that. We can choose so much better than that.

While we, as a society, try to get a hold on the things that are and have been destroying us; for suicide specifically, I wanted to share five-steps that I found on a platform called Take 5 To Save Lives, in effort to get more peoples wheels turning on being soldiers in the fight to minimize or prevent suicides.

1. LEARN THE SIGNS

Call 911 or the emergency service number of your country if you see or hear the following:

  • Someone threatening to hurt or kill themselves or talking of wanting to die.

  • Someone looking for ways to kill themselves by seeking access to weapons or other lethal items (this can be online searches or physically looking for something in the moment of despair).

  • Someone talking or writing about death, dying or suicide.

Contact a mental health professional or hotline if you hear or see someone exhibiting one or more of these behaviors:​

  • Hopelessness

  • Rage, uncontrolled anger, seeking revenge

  • Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking

  • Feeling trapped, like there’s no way out

  • Increased alcohol or drug use

  • Withdrawing from friends, family & society

  • Anxiety, agitation, unable to sleep or sleeping all the time

  • Dramatic mood changes

In the US, Lifeline is available 24/7. Use this list of helpline resources if you or someone you know is suicidal.

This list of Warning Signs for Suicide was developed by an expert review and consensus process informed by a review of relevant research and literature. Additional information about the warning signs can be found in the following published article: Rudd, M. D., Berman, A. L., Joiner, T. E., Jr., Nock, M. K., Silverman, M. M., Mandrusiak, M., et al. (2006). Warning signs for suicide: Theory, research, and clinical applications. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 36(3), 255-262.

2. KNOW HOW TO HELP

ASK if the person is thinking about suicide.

LISTEN without judgement. Let the person talk without interruption and make them feel heard.

RESPOND with kindness and care. Always take the person seriously.

FOLLOW-UP with the person and support their transition from crisis to recovery.

3. PRACTICE SELF-CARE

  • Practice good emotional hygiene: techniques to treat and address emotional pain. Avoid repetitive negative thoughts.

  • Make time for HEALTHY (Non-toxic) friends and family. Loneliness and feelings of disconnectedness are serious threats to our mental health. Carve out enough time to regularly connect with a friend or family member, even if all you can manage is a phone call or FaceTime session.

  • Make time for yourself. Use your time alone to check in with yourself or reflect on a personal experience. Use your time of solitude to destress from the chaos of life. Engage in activities that you enjoy doing alone like gardening, reading a good book, going to the movies, or cooking. There are many ways to find peace and quiet for yourself. Take time each day for yourself, even it's only a few minutes. It's not selfish, it's vital.

  • Nourish your body with healthy food. Not only does eating healthy and nutrient rich foods help keep your body in good working order, eating healthy can also positively affect your mood.

  • Get enough sleep: lack of sleep due to stress or other issues can lead to serious health problems

  • Move your body: exercises. To maintain your physical health, it’s currently recommended to get your body moving and keep your heart rate elevated for at least 150 minutes per week or to get 75 minutes of vigorous exercise per week. And of course, exercise has other great benefits like boosting your energy, improving your mood, and helping you fall asleep.

  • Help others

  • Manage your stress: stress management strategies

  • Manage other medical or physical problems: Are you taking care of your medical needs? In times of bad or negative stress or after a major life event, remember to pay attention to your body. Mental and physical health are deeply interconnected, and it’s important to deal with any health issues that may be holding you back

  • Ask for help: You don't have to do anything in life alone. If you're having trouble caring for yourself for any reason, reach out

4. REACH OUT

Know Where to Turn for Help

Do you know where to turn for help if you or a friend is having suicidal thoughts? Take some time to familiarize yourself with your own country's, state/province, or local resources.​USANational Resources:

Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255)Crisis Text Line- TEXT “GO” TO 741-741To find state and local resources in the USA, use the SPRC's map locator: http://www.sprc.org/statesTips on how to reach out to a friend who may be suicidal.

Reaching out is the most important step to start living mentally well again. Never be afraid to reach out. Here are a couple different ways to get help:

  1. Talk with a close friend or family member you trust.

  2. Call a hotline or helpline and talk to a trained helper.

  3. Schedule an appointment with a professional therapist. Try e-counseling if that sounds more appealing.

  4. Read others' stories of hope and recovery. Sometimes reading how others have gotten through a difficult time can help you navigate your own tough situation.

  5. Try a support group (usa search)

5. SPREAD THE WORD

Tell at least 5 people about Take 5 and World Suicide Prevention Day.

Share the Take 5 to Save Lives Facebook page with your friends and family.

Tweet or retweet Take 5 posts using hashtags #take5tosavelives #preventsuicide #WSPD

Those are the Five Steps that the Take5ToSaveLives organization so beautifully laid out for us to band together in the prevention of suicide/self-harm. They're simple, but powerful.

In the meantime, if you happen to come across this article, I ask that you be mindful of how you engage with other humans online. I ask that you be mindful of how the people you surround yourself with, engage with other people online. I ask that we normalize asking one another if we are or what abuses we experience online (because many people keep it to themselves). I ask that if we find out that someone is engaging in violent, offensive, and harmful behaviors online (even real life), that we confront people with urgency, but also grace.

I’ve said it in previously published articles, community (by definition: a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals) is what will properly address the very large dark spots in our world. When we all band together against the things that rob people of true freedom, safety, resource, and peace, the world will begin to spin in the right direction. Pain, suffering, and hate do not have to be a part of the fabric of our society. When the majority actively decide against it, it will be.

Share this week’s article with FIVE PEOPLE to spread the message. Take 5 minutes to save a life!